Setting goals and making plans

I took a couple of pictures over the last few days and tried to get some of the pictures off my memory card onto Hubby's computer. He and I are sharing a computer for the time being because mine got zapped in a lightning storm. :( I can share the iPhone pics, but that's it because my card reader isn't compatible with Windows 7, and he doesn't have a built in like mine did.

 

Emma is doing much better riding her bike now. We went the full half mile all the way around the apt complex, and she started to get comfortable with going faster towards the end of the ride.

When we went to lunch, she wanted a picture of how tall she is now. She can stand in the back seat her head touches the roof now! She's really tall for a five year old.

I also took the time to make a reminder poster for our goals. One of them I can't list here because it's a surprise for my kids, but the other three are "Exercise today!" "Eat healthy today!" and "Study today!" By doing these things daily, Hubby and I want to lose 38 pounds by the time my kids come to visit, and that's directly related to their surprise. 

I am also studying to take my GMAT exam so I can start grad school in the fall. I'll be working towards my MBA! I'm excited and scared to begin grad school, mainly because it's been so long since I was in a traditional classroom setting. Being able to complete my bachelor's degree online let me take open book tests, so I didn't have to commit nearly as much to memory. But, I think that may have hurt me in the long run because I frequently feel like I don't know what I'm doing. They tell me at work I'm doing a great job, so I shudder to think what kind of work my predecessors were doing! Maybe I'm only guilty of being human, and being silly enough to listen to the negative self-talk. I'm always telling Hubby not to listen to that voice in his head that doesn't like him, and here I am doing it too. At least by recognizing it I can hopefully change that behavior!

I'm glad I had the sense to put on the goals reminder sheet to do each of those things "today" rather than "every day." I think that will help remind me that I don't have to worry about what I did yesterday or what I have to do tomorrow. I only need to focus on living one day at a time and making it my very best day TODAY. Now if I can only keep those goals in my head when there's King Cake and doughnuts around...

Where has the joy gone?

Many years ago, back when I was married to my ex and lived with my kids, I really enjoyed creative pursuits... Not the drug kind, I mean arts and crafts! Scrapbooking, paper crafting, painting, decorating, cooking and baking, etc. Over the years I've let these things slip away. Whether it was for financial reasons or time constraints, crafting ceased being a necessary part of my life along the way. I find that I feel stifled if I'm not creating though. Has anyone else experienced this?

I've thought that perhaps subconsciously I'm punishing myself for how things turned out with the kids living so far away. Are there any other long distance moms out there? It is so hard to be away from them, even though I'm certain they are in the best situation they can be. 

I'm going to endeavor to create something new every day for a year. Whether it's photography, crafting, blogging or cooking. I'll share my journey here, and hopefully by March 12, 2015 my joy will have come back from vacation!

Have you ever loved someone?

I've never felt this way before. I've never looked at someone while they slept so soundly and peacefully beside me and been so content... So thoroughly convinced that this is the man I've been looking for and waiting for my whole life! So comfortable with him, and so secure in the knowledge that he loves me in the same way: deeply, completely, and unconditionally. He is SO worth all the heartache I had to go through to find him... And I will hold him close to me and breathe in his scent forever... And never take him for granted!
I told him I had started a blog, but I haven't shown it to him or given him the address because he thinks blogs are stupid lol... That no one cares about the minutiae of anyone else's life, and he's probably right. Chances are he'll never read this... But that's ok... That's not why I wrote it. I like blogs because you can express your thoughts and feelings and perhaps put something into words for a complete stranger that has felt the same way but couldn't express it. I think blogs are about finding commonalities... Finding camaraderie with others, and feeling more connected to the world around you. The world we live in is one of oversharing but unprecedented loneliness. Status updates, tweets, blogs, etc... Share what you think online and everyone will know, but does that mean they know YOU? No. Call your friends... Hear their voices, and keep alive those personal connections...
My life the last few years has been consumed with living online and struggling to feel like I was a part of something. But the last two months with this man have made me realize that the only way to belong is to do it in real life. Cyberspace is no substitute for the real thing!! And all of a sudden, I feel like I belong again... Life is good!

/jumps off soapbox lol